My Blog

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I’m sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won’t lose no sleep on that,
‘Cause I’ve got a plan.
You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don’t know what to do,
‘Cause I’ll never be with you.
Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don’t think that I’ll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.
You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don’t know what to do,
‘Cause I’ll never be with you.
You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it’s time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

I received this book from an old friend for my birthday present and it’s darn interesting. It’s a really old book (but obviously newly printed) written by a not so known English poet and philosophist living in the 16th century during the Renaissance era. His message was simple…just basic and elemantary and that is LOVE. One of the chapter really touches me and soothes me. According to him, loving a person (no matter the person returns your love or not) is not the way to justify the outcome of the situation. The important outcome is…HOW DID YOU FEEL?  DID YOU MANAGE TO TOUCH LOVE? DID YOU MANAGE TO GRASP LOVE? It’s not about getting the person to love you, but the experience of loving someone, to care for someone, to see that that person is someone that you treat differently and willing to lose your own sanity for him/her (heheheh no kidding, he did say that). When you touch love, you smile, when you feel love, you tremble, and when you grasp love….complete. Love is a wonder. A wonder that will happen to everyone at least once in a lifetime, and the eternal love was also mentioned and that is (love among friends, families and especially God - provided if the guy is not the antiChrist that is). Hence, it’s not about getting the person that you love that matters…it’s more of loving him/her (whether she realize it or not), or whether you had something special for him/her before or you guys are just friends but the feeling of more than just friends grows and fruits into a garden of that Cupid would love to dwell in. Cheerios!

P.S: Count how many the word LOVE comes out and win yourself fabulous prizes! Quick, while stocks last!

I received this book from an old friend for my birthday present and it’s darn interesting. It’s a really old book (but obviously newly printed) written by a not so known English poet and philosophist living in the 16th century during the Renaissance era. His message was simple…just basic and elemantary and that is LOVE. One of the chapter really touches me and soothes me. According to him, loving a person (no matter the person returns your love or not) is not the way to justify the outcome of the situation. The important outcome is…HOW DID YOU FEEL?  DID YOU MANAGE TO TOUCH LOVE? DID YOU MANAGE TO GRASP LOVE? It’s not about getting the person to love you, but the experience of loving someone, to care for someone, to see that that person is someone that you treat differently and willing to lose your own sanity for him/her (heheheh no kidding, he did say that). When you touch love, you smile, when you feel love, you tremble, and when you grasp love….complete. Love is a wonder. A wonder that will happen to everyone at least once in a lifetime, and the eternal love was also mentioned and that is (love among friends, families and especially God - provided if the guy is not the antiChrist that is). Hence, it’s not about getting the person that you love that matters…it’s more of loving him/her (whether she realize it or not), or whether you had something special for him/her before or you guys are just friends but the feeling of more than just friends grows and fruits into a garden of that Cupid would love to dwell into. Cheerios!

P.S: Count how many the word LOVE comes out and win yourself fabulous prizes! Quick, while stocks last!

Taking my ride with destiny,willing to play my part,living with painful memories,loving with all my heart,made in heaven,made in heaven, it was all meant to be, made in heaven, made in heaven, that’s what they say, can’t u see?,that’s what everybody says to me, can’t u see?, oh i know i know i know that it’s true,yes it’s really meant to be deep in my heart…

Having to learn to pay the price,that’s turning me upside down,waiting for possibilities,don’t see too many around,made in heaven,made in heaven, it’s for all to see, made in heaven, made in heaven, that’s what everybody says, everybody says to me, it was only meant to be, oh can’t u see? yeah everybody says, yes it was meant to be, when stormy weather comes around,it was made in heaven,when sunny skies break thru behind the clouds, I wish it could last forever,wish it could last forever,forever…

Playing my role in history,looking to find my goal,taking in all those misery,but giving in with all my souls,made in heaven, made in heaven, it was all meant to be, made in heaven, made in heaven, that’s what everybody says, wait and see, it was really meant to be, so plain to see, yeah everybody everybody tells me so, yeah it was plain to see, yes it was meant to be - written in the stars…written in the stars…written in the stars…

Don’t it Make My Brown Eyes Blue - Crystal Gayle

Don’t know when I’ve been so blue,Don’t know what’s come over you ,You’ve found someone new, And don’t it make my brown eyes blue, I’ll be fine when you’re gone, I’ll just cry all night long ,Say it isn’t true, And don’t it make my brown eyes blue ,Tell me no secrets, tell me some lies Give me no reasons, give me alibis, Tell me you love me and don’t make me cry, Say anything but don’t say goodbye, I didn’t mean to treat you bad ,Didn’t know just what I had But, honey, now I do, And don’t it make my brown eyes, Don’t it make my brown eyes Don’t it make my brown eyes blue Don’t it make my brown eyes Don’t it make my brown eyes blue …

At last!!! I’VE PASSED AND EARN A MASTER OF SCIENCE DEGREE!!! It has been a roller coaster ride for me during this course! My dad passed away, financial difficulties came in, running errands here and there, I got together with the one I love (it was a good one) and it ended sadly (unfortunately), my band was soaring….darn it!!! All those stuffs and I managed to pull thru!!!!

For u guys having in mind in taking MSc…do it! It is a good experience and it makes u more valuable than the already-abundant-degree holders out there (eeeh but it’s still nothing compared to those with working experience, so those who are working jangan marah yer…). Yeh yeh dah abis!!!

After massive contemplation and lots of thinking were done, I have realised that letting go of the person you love is far greater than loving that person. Loving a person does not necessarily mean that you must have that person. It kinda took me freaking 5 years to realize this (no kidding). For me, I love the person that I hold dear (my family and companion). True love with no hypocrisy. I would surely and pray for ones that I love. I want them to be happy and smile and be successful in anything that they do. Holding on to them but torturing their souls and making them lying to themselves is not going to help much. In fact, it is against the nature of love which is caring and conjuring happiness in someone that you love. When they smile, I smile and so forth. I always told this to the person that I really love (I still do till today) that "If you sad,I am sad, If you’re happy, I am also sad" as a gesture saying that I would go to great lengths to pour my love to the one that I love. If she’s happy, it makes my life complete. I want her to be happy and I always do pray for her happiness each day. There’s no greater love than taking up the misery of your love one and trade your happiness for theirs. And I love her.

I feel lost. I feel that I want more out of my life but I know that I should not. It’s against the will of God and it portrays unthankfulness. Am I being greedy? Am I being bad? I want more than this. I know I can and I know that I am capable but there’s something missing that I feel that I really want to have and achieve. What is that particular "missing" piece? Beats me. I need to do an extensive soul search myself. How to do it? I dunno yet. Climb the Himalaya mountains? Fly to the moon? I will find the answer soon enough…